Dumpster Cat

I think my cat assumes I am going to lose my job soon and no longer be able to afford to eat because every single night for the last week she is getting inside the kitchen garbage can and removing whatever disgusting half-eaten microwavable spinster meal I attempted to throw out the night before.

I woke up this morning and found the recently discarded two-week old spaghetti noodles were now conveniently located in and around her food bowl. All the garlic cloves that are normally on the kitchen window sill were scattered about my house like Easter eggs. I'd like to think this is her way of saying she will cook me a-spicy a-meatball-a Italian dinner for two, but only if I find all the missing ingredients.

The other new fascination my lil' dumpster kitty has of late is with leftover pizza boxes and believing that they are not garbage but are in fact a room at a 5 star hotel. She used the most recently discarded box as a bed for a full week and when I eventually distracted her long enough to throw it away, she knocked the trash can over while I slept and rescued it. I had to lure her into the bedroom to lock her in  while I snuck out of the house to throw it away.  As I always (never) say, deception and unconditional love go hand in hand.    Or was it Decepticon?

Her final trick for the week was getting the bread I store above the fridge onto the floor and after chewing a hole through the plastic, eating almost half of it.  Doesn't she worry about what all those carbs will do to her thighs?


  1. hilarious! my cats are fun, too ^^

  2. i can't believe you dared to throw away the pizza box when she wasn't looking.

    satan baby is going to get you in your sleep, one claw at a time, like freddy krugnutz.