Dumpster Cat

I think my cat assumes we are going to go poor soon and no longer be able to afford food because every single night she gets inside the kitchen garbage can and removes whatever I have attempted to throw out.

I woke up this morning and found the leftover spaghetti noodles that I chucked out after dinner were now conveniently located in her food bowl (on top of her food nuggets), as well as all over the goddamn house. All the garlic cloves that are normally on the kitchen window sill were also scattered about my house like Easter eggs. I think this is her way of saying she will cook me dinner, but only if I find all the missing ingredients. Fun.

The best part about my dumpster kitty is her fascination with a leftover pizza box from last week. She used it as a bed for 4 nights in a row and when I eventually threw it away, she knocked the trash can over and rescued it. I had to distract her with balled up paper while I snuck out of the house to throw it away.

This week she also managed to get the bread I had above the fridge onto the floor and after chewing a hole through the plastic, ate almost half of it. What the hell? She acts like I starve her.

Fucking cat.