WHOA.

In any event, this is seriously the best Vin Diesel has ever looked.

SYYYYKE

Q: Which one is the real skank?
A: Trick question! They both are.

This hot fuckery mess of a couple is my (not so secret) guilty pleasure. I don't know what to say about them, really. Aside from Doug Hutchinson's perpetual child-raper eyes, his 17 year old wife makes me sad on the inside because of her "trashy old lady meets Toddlers with Tiaras" look. In spite of this I can't stop myself from reading every article ever written about these two trainwreck a-holes.

We can all agree that this is going no where good, I can tell you that much. The real fun is guessing how it will all end: divorce, drug overdose, adopting a Korean baby and naming it Hepatitis B, or all of the above?

Pegacorn Dream

I had this dream last night. I was in the house I grew up in. It was dark outside. In the backyard, there was a horse. (This is not normal.) There was something strange about this horse. It had a long flowing mane that fell to both its flanks... no... they were wings! It was a Pegasus!

It moved away every time it caught sight of me. But I caught a glimpse of... could it be? It was also a unicorn! It was a Pegacorn! Unisus! Pegacorn!

I ran to grab a camera and started taking pictures, as it kept dashing here and there. I struggled for good framing and composition as there were only a few shots left (my father still uses film cameras, you see). It tried to climb up a ladder to the roof, but alas it did not know that Pegacorns unisi Pegacorns can't climb ladders. Instead, it destroyed half the house (on account of it being so heavy on its diet of space dust).I kept snapping as it ran away. I got lots of pictures of its ass.

Take some lessons, ladies.

Hey witch! You're doing it wrong.

Sweet Dreams!

He's single, ladies!

It Aint Over Until the Fat Lady something something

Hey, so, I know I haven't been around much.

I stopped updating my blog because...sigh. I don't want to lie to you. I stopped updating my blog because I was kidnapped by legal aliens and taken to Wisconsin to learn the ancient rituals of cheese worship. I know you can understand.

My February's Eve Resolution is to start updating this worthless crapfest regularly again.

So with THAT being said, let me go ahead and show you this:

This is my wedding photo. I will give you 500 million drachma if you can guess which one is me.

HINT: sexy denims