6/28/09

Crazy Shit

I collect weird photos. Some of this week's favorites are below.

                  What the fruck? (typo, but I am keeping it)



               Old ad that is still SO true (am I right laaaadies?)


                                         Google is a dick.

                                 Runnerup: Labiaville.



There are some mornings that I wish this actually existed. I am for real lazy.

I Wanna Go to Prison!

It's been a few days since our beloved Michael Jackson was taken away from us. I wanted to say something sooner, but with being sad and all, I am just now getting around to it.

I am posting this video below as a tribute to a man that was a musical genius and gave us many wonderful songs to sing and dance moves to imitate (poorly).

This video is pretty infamous and mega old so you may have already delighted in all it's "broadway not bars" glory.

Premise: The gayest prison ever is located in the Philippines and those lovely cell block ladies used up all their "work out" time to choreograph what can only be described as "the most orangey and asian version of Thriller you have ever seen". After seeing this, you too will be convinced there is no way a single one of these men is guilty of anything...but rhythm!

6/22/09

GEE EM

Sad black guys stand for quality engineering.

6/20/09

Can you flatten this and slide it into my mouthhole?

If you have a job, then you know this guy.

I hope you weren't planning on sleeping ever again.

If you do, this will haunt your fucking dreams!

Rainn Wilson makes a delightful young lad.

Who-Ba-Stank

Words. Can. Not...

Put your eyeballs close to the screen.

Sketchy Arm!

Old news isn't news, so if you have seen this already, FUCK OFF.

It's some good shit.


6/19/09

Tribute to cats that long to be milk, eggs, and bread.


It is scientifically proven that all cats have a burning inner desire to be your groceries.









                                                                   
                                                                     

                                                                    
                                                                 

I remember it like this, don't you?

I vaguely remember watching The Ring. But from what I remember, it was exactly like this.


It's funny because it's true.

Nothing like a website whose sole purpose is to post pictures of pepaws* that look like memaw** gayelles*** to brighten up my day.

It's kind of profound that as men and women age, they become more and more androgynous. I think it's biology's way of saying, "You're not boning anymore, so why does it matter?"

For those skeptics, please see here.

*Old men
**Old women
***Old lesbians.

Yes, a 1/2 bottle of wine helped me cowrite this blog entry.

GM lays off workers

Fridays deserve a good 'animal defying physics' photo blog entry.



If I were that goat, I would want to see the top of that Ram's head too.  I mean, how do those things work?!

My prayers have been answered.

If given three wishes, I would bet that you would ask for the same things as me:

1. The ability to turn wine into more wine.
2. An endless supply of cash that is also edible and tastes like nonpareils.
3. A website devoted to compiling and rating sax solos from all my favorite 80s songs.

Well the wait is finally over!  I am about to make one of your wishes come true.

I had no idea dinosaurs were so friendly.

But I had my suspicions. 

We can all learn a thing or two about social politeness, thanks to this video capturing my most wild prehistoric fantasy.

 

I get what this video is trying to tell me.

If seeing a musical collaboration between Hall & Oates and Keyboard Cat is only possible by way of cocaine, then sign me up!

6/18/09

Passion for Fashion

These cats know what's up.



No one wants a bald pussy.

Also, nobody wants a cat without a wig like this. All wigless cats should be destroyed. I'm not fucking around here.

Please enjoy.

6/17/09

This was on CNN.

Apparently nothing else happened today on planet Earth.


Skanky pictures of skanky people doing skanky things.

Yeah, you may have seen this already but if not, prepare to giggle while simultaneously being ashamed you understand these references so well.

6/16/09

Weed Is a Gateway Drug...

To bitchin' mustaches!

Mexican Michael Phelps





I need you to see this...


Because I want you to feel like someone just raped you in the same way I do after seeing this image.

I know rape isn't funny. But neither is Carrot Top.  Arguably, his eyebrows are. But that's besides the point.  

This image speaks for itself. I think what it's saying is, "I am trying to build up my delts so you will notice them instead of EVERY OTHER PART OF MY BODY."


6/15/09

Hard Lessons


My mac inbox has stayed relatively safe from the perverse infestations that afflict all of my other email accounts.  Jimmy Poopbreath has not emailed me in months to tell me about rude cough syrup or smelly pine cones.

However, I was graced with this gem earlier this week and I felt it to be so profound, it was worth pressing apple+shift+3 and sharing it with you boners.

I hope you've learned a thing or two, flaccid penis! I know www.21113.org sure did.

My job is fun.

My sound effects "research" at work landed me here.

Needless to say, many a good pranks/jokes were made upon finding these gems. If getting electrocuted sounds this funny, then sign me up! I am always up for a good laugh.



You tell me, these sounds are either people getting electrocuted or Pee Wee Herman being awkward and an old timey Victorian Era lady fainting repeatedly.



6/14/09

I hope this "stimulates" you.

No, "seriously".

I love this "blog". The best part is it "never" gets old.





Look at those people! They "love" it!

Now let's get serious...

If the first 30 seconds of this don't turn your heart of ice into a heart of icecream cake-shaped Sonya, then I feel sorry for you.


6/13/09

I know birds can fly...

But can they play the keytar?!?!


Which would you choose?




6/12/09

Before we get started...

This here blog is to pay tribute to all things hilarious and borderline entertaining.

I collect a lot of internet crap all day long that I feel is worth sharing. I either like you enough or harbor some sort of resentment towards you if I have shared the whereabouts of this electronic pile of garbage.

Before you read on, let me make sure that you are ready to commit to this kind of fuckery each and every day of your life. My goal is to make this blog addicting like the smoothness of a cigarette but still appeal to the masses like the Wayne Brady musical tomfoolery on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

So, now that you know my intentions, let's smoke some black comedians together, shall we?