1/28/10

And kick and step and twirl and lunge and kick...


This is the only type of ballet you can expect to find me watching. Pictured here is Micael Barishnocat performing a contemporary rendition of Swan Lake, or as Barishnocat calls it, "Whatever the fuck gets me balls deep in some cat nip."

Swan Meow.

As a renowned ballet dancer, Barishnocat's style of dance has been described as, "elegant to behold, almost like watching yarn move over a blanket with gentle ease. Like a laser moving fluidly over the walls, Barishnocat enchants his audience using the subtle flick of a tail, and extends gracefully over the hands of his partners and on occasion, over the arms of chairs."

Two paws up! Way up!

Magical

Not pictured: The Beast's giant erection.

Letters Home


Shortly after two unidentified beings arrived to Earth via really, really long rope, a transmission was interrupted and deciphered by natives to read the following:

"Earth Dwellers,

Wasssssupppp!!!!!!!!!

I arrived today to your planet via really, really long rope and boy are my arms tired! HA HA! Jk! I am so freakin' excited to be here finally. I can't wait to meet y'all!

As you may have seen, my travel partner (you can call her #29) was resistant at first to my unconventional landing technique but eventually she finally relaxed and started to trust me which lead to a much more pleasurable experience for us both. I hope that new matching shirt and pants combo I got her for the trip might warm her up to trying a few new landing maneuvers later, if you know what I mean. I sure hope you do..............................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................................
.............................................................(wink.)

Anyway, I hope to meet y'all as soon as I figure out how to navigate around the terrain without the use of these long ropes. Earth is wacky, I sure hope you have pleated khakis here too.

Laters,
Bill"

So many balls, so little time.


Prior to this moment, the thought of participating in organized sports was about as desirable as the thought of living in a world without Spaghetti Cat. (Disorganized sports on the other hand...)

That all changed when my peepers took a gander at the above. I haven't seen that much blatant crotch grabbery since my gay uncle's 4th commitment ceremony!

Sadly, this is about as much action as that guy will ever see in his little Pelé area.

Guuh--oooooaaaaal!

Uncomfortable fun at 0500 hours!

Looks like Sargent Omom (suggested spelling) ran one too many laps around the training field during boot camp this week. And don't be fooled, his (pilot?) friend is not napping delicately upon his chest, but rather leaning in for a stolen sniff of his comrade's new lavender vanilla fabric softener.

Please note the lady to the right who is trying to desperately to lean away from the fuckery next to her without being rude. For all of us familiar with subway etiquette, it takes time and grace to master the "get the fuck away from me" stance while barely moving a muscle.

Respect!