Do you also have the 'Rachel' haircut?

Oh my god, the internet is so 1996.

You people need to get with it and try this thing.  It's a new, convenient and totally inconspicuous technological device.  It's main features include: adding body weight, telling you the time (of your life!), and giving you a reason to flex when showing the chicks at your place of employment your new gadget.

It's available now for 3 easy payments of $something in the imagined future that never came to be.99

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