Horoscopes II: Revenge of the 'Scope

Today's Birthday: You'll love the constant attention you get today as you seem to radiate confidence. That confidence, however, will turn out to be just plain radiation.

Aries (March 21-April 19): It is very easy to say yes you'll learn today, so have fun with those 40 pairs of acid washed jeans you got suckered into buying from your weird neighbor.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Getting the answer isn't as important as wondering about the question. You'll ponder how true this really is when"Where were you at 10 PM on March 30th?" is continually asked by the prosecuting lawyer.

Gemini (May 21-June 21): You treasure your friends. However, the sudden visual of buried treasure friends will seem much more appealing today.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): As a naturally inquisitive sign, you'll spend time today learning the kind of knowledge you can't get in the library. You can, however, get this knowledge from the STD brochure you've been meaning to read.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Nothing worth doing can be accomplished without passion and that fire burning inside you. You just wish it didn't hurt so much.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You'll be dealing with many types of belief systems within the workplace today. It would be wise not to take sides. They all deserve to be made judged and made fun of equally.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): Children sometimes make the mistake of offering a defense before they are accused. This may not do them much good in the playground but they certainly make excellent lawyers.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): Your strong suit today will be the organization of your professional life. It will also be what blocks those bullets and prevents you from ever catching on fire in style.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Talk to the person in charge. If you sense that someone doesn't have a handle on things, don't hesitate to go to the next person. Do whatever you need to do to finally get the question of "Who let the dogs out?" answered.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It's a good time for going out. It really doesn't matter where you go or with whom as you'll be the main attraction. Try not to get too cocky, Capricorn, as having no face tends to get this type of reaction.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You're too cool to beg, plead, complain or explain. Not like you need anyone to tell you that. Your mom does a pretty good job on her own.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): You realize that most people are thinking of themselves. This works in your favor though because honestly, no one wants to picture you naked anyhow.