FACT: Babies are drunks.

When it comes to babies and their booze, no one knows better than I do that these fat little cherubs sure can knock them back. I know this because I run a baby rehab center... in my brain.

It's a known fact that babies are highly susceptible to magazine ads from the 70s. They're also suckers for a good sale at Sears but that is another bLAAAAAAHg.

Moms, keep a close eye on your babies and make sure that while they're laying there doing fucking NOTHING all day, they don't sneak a way and starting reading old magazines.

See exhibit A and B.